A Not So Conventional Path

Patient Trust

Above all, trust in the slow work of God. We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay. We should like to skip the intermediate stages. We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new. And yet it is the law of progress that it is made by passing through some stages of instability --- and that it may take a very long time. And so I think it is with you. Your ideas mature gradually --- let them grow, let them shape themselves, without undue haste. Don't try to force them on, as though you could be today what time (that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own good will) will make of you tomorrow. Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be. Give Our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.

- By Pierre Teilhard De Chardin SJ


As I've said before, I'm impatient. Incredibly impatient. I'm always looking forward to the next weekend. Not enjoying the moment. Lately, when anxiety grabs hold of me, I catch it before its power overtakes me and I look inward to find its roots. My worries are insignificant in the grand scheme of life and I need to constantly need to remind myself that God does have a plan for me. A plan completely unique and specific to my interests and talents. No other plan is the same. No ones path is alike.

This year for Thanksgiving, I gathered with my dad's family. As usual, everyone asks me what I am doing with my life right now and usually, I feel a bit embarrassed to share that I haven't gone too far in the past few months. As I was talking to my Aunt Catharine, she shared with me her own journey in life. It took her over ten years to find what she was meant to do. It took her ten years to get her undergrad. She had a unconventional path toward becoming a special education teacher. But reflecting on journey, she feels that now she absolutely loves her job, more than most. She is blessed to have a job she loves though it took her a bit longer to figure out.

Today, we are accustomed to think that there is this perfect cookie cutter mold to how our life should unfold. We work hard in high school only to graduate and move on to college. We work hard in college with the expectation of getting a well paying job. Then, I guess, you meet your soul mate and get married and have kids and work work work the rest of your life. That's what I thought my life would be like. The traditional, conventional, boring mold. But that's not what happened. You discover things about yourself as you grow, become your own person. Right now, I value finding a job I love over settling for any job that pays. I am confident God will provide that for me (as I believe he will provide my soul mate as well!). Whether it's next week, in 6 months, or 10 years, I'm willing to be patient.