Familiarity

This is the first time I've been more than a days drive away from home. In New Jersey, I could hop in my car at 8 AM and be home by 8 PM, and I have done that. But in California, it takes a little more of an effort, time and money. It requires planning far in advanced, saving, and thinking. I'm still trying to find the time and money to make it home for Christmas! That will be tomorrows task.

I miss something. It's not necessarily my house or my uneventful life in EGR or a office-less job or the smells of the city, it's more than that, it's deeper. It's the longing we always have in life, it's just magnified when you are transplanted 2000 miles away. I've realized it's familiarity. It's the face of a friend, a meal cooked by mom, the normal running route around the lake, the beauty of the dirt roads, a drink at the bar with your best friend, the richness of fall and a spiced donuts, or a 2 hour drive to see family for the holidays. I miss anything familiar.

I know it will come with time. But all this missing has heightened my desire for a family. I want a family of my own to go home to, to be there, to be that familiarity, my constant in life. I guess I am searching for a routine and I discovered it where I least expected it, in people. Or maybe that's just the routine I've been searching for all along.