The Art of Balance

'Sometimes the days go by too fast, too fast to notice the good things'

Balance is something I constantly think about and a problem I'm always trying to find an answer too.

Last Thursday was my busiest day that I had had in a long time. Run, work, coaching. The day flew by. Before I went to bed I reflected some on the day and was struck by how fast it went. I truly was living in the present. I had no time to think about the future or the past, about those who mean most to me, and God. I was lost in the present, something I hadn't done in a long time. But I didn't exactly enjoy it either. Something about the repetitiveness of ringing up coffee drink orders and refilling coffee ideally, was not what I wanted to spend my time doing. It scared me to think that those, family, friends, God, that I love so much were gone from my thoughts for hours. Was this what I should be spending my time doing? Working a minimum wage job as my mind morphs into mush? No way in hell.

So I had to think of why I am suffering through this. To make money for one, so I have the ability to travel to spend time with all of you. That's what is important to me. But it has also moved me a step closer to what I want out of my education. I want a job that I will love and that will make me money so I have the ability to spend time with those I love while also enjoying what I do everyday. This is the balance I am striving for. It is what we all need.

But I am still unsettled about where my thoughts were this whole time. They were focused on the present. It was a change from when I wasn't busy. Then, I was thinking about what I wanted to do, the times I enjoyed in the past, and devoting time to God. I don't like that I have lost this time and replaced it with meaningless jobs. I guess that means I have to find a job that will do something for the world, one I will love and enjoy.